Marionette
by Mnemosyne's Elegy
Summary: Gray dropped his guard for one moment, and it was enough for Juvia to attach all the strings. Now she's playing him like a puppet, and he hates every second of it. If it's the last thing he does, he'll break her the same way she broke him. This is NOT Gruvia.


**Note: Well, this is a, uh, rather _different_ take on the normal love potion trope lol Not Gruvia, obviously. And, as a warning, it lacks the redeeming quality for Juvia that I usually end up inserting. Usually I end up softening the blow even when I think she doesn't deserve it, but I have little to no sympathy for her here and neither does Gray. But she's still totally in-character :3**

 **A note for that small subset of rabid shippers that likes to read things just to bitch and moan about the fact that it's not Gruvia even though I'm warning you in advance: Let me save you the trouble! Yes, I _am_ , in fact, an ugly, morbid, Gruvia-hating bitch who should go kill herself—and I'm proud of it :) If you still have to bitch, you could always come up with something more creative. My sister and I laugh at all flames regardless, but the creative ones are more fun. I apologize in advance for the zero fucks I give about ruining the sanctity of your OTP :3**

* * *

Juvia was watching him again. Gray could feel her gaze as an ever-present itch between his shoulder blades, and he shifted irritably under its weight. It felt like she was _always_ watching him. She didn't seem to realize that her constant surveillance and obsessive attempts at wooing him were having the exact opposite effect of what she intended.

"And then Natsu blew it up," Lucy finished sourly.

"And you were surprised?" asked Gray.

"It seems like that's how all stories involving Natsu end," Erza said.

"I don't _always_ blow stuff up," Natsu protested.

"Oh really?" Happy asked.

"…Not _always_. Just mostly."

Gray stiffened as he heard the soft footsteps behind him. He looked forward rigidly, attempting to glare a hole into Natsu's forehead in the hopes that Juvia would leave if he didn't acknowledge her.

"Gray-sama?"

Shit.

Gray turned in his seat and pasted something almost resembling a smile onto his face. "What's up, Juvia?"

Juvia shuffled her feet and looked up at him through her lashes as she held out a glass of water. He stared at it as if it was poison.

"Juvia thought that Gray-sama might be thirsty since it's so hot today, so she brought him ice water."

Gray blinked at her in bewilderment. This was an unusually practical and thoughtful gesture for her. Usually she just brought him the most ridiculous things to prove that she didn't know him at all.

"Uh… Thanks?" Seeing no polite way to refuse, he took the cup gingerly.

Juvia stared at him. He shifted uncomfortably and then took a small sip to placate her. It had a weird, almost medicinal aftertaste that made him want to gag. She smiled. He waited for her to leave. She didn't. He took a couple more sips. Her smile brightened. She didn't leave.

"Did you, um, need something?" he asked finally.

Her face fell and disappointment radiated from her. "Oh, no, nothing. Juvia will leave Gray-sama to speak with his team."

He watched in bemusement as she slunk off to mope on the other side of the hall. It seemed like she had been expecting something from him, waiting for something to happen. Probably hoping he'd declare his undying love or something. He felt a little bad for disappointing her, but… What could she really expect? He sympathized with her, but he wished she'd finally accept that he wasn't interested and move on.

Turning back to his friends, he set the glass on the table and scowled at their intense interest.

"If you really don't like it, haven't you asked her to stop?" Erza asked.

He gave her a baleful look. "Of course I've asked her to stop. I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm not interested, but she's persistent."

She was watching him again. He could feel it. He pretended to take a sip of the nasty water. Where had she even found this stuff? They should probably check the source to make sure something wasn't leeching into it. Oh, just his luck. He was probably drinking water contaminated with heavy metals or sewage or _poison_. Ugh.

"Maybe if you finally got together, she'd stop this 'love rival' nonsense," Lucy mused.

He snorted. "Yeah right. I bet it would only make it worse. And for the last time, I don't want to get together with her. Geez. Why does everyone keep pressuring me? If I liked her like that, I would've already told her. It's not like she's unwilling."

"Sorry, sorry, you're right."

Gray wanted to bang his head into the wall. He could _still_ feel Juvia watching him with some odd mixture of expectancy and disappointment. She probably wanted to make sure he actually drank all that water, and he really didn't want to.

He half-turned in his seat, just enough to watch Juvia out of the corner of his eye. When she finally glanced away for a second, he quickly reached across the table and dumped the water into Natsu's empty cup.

"Hey!" Natsu said.

Gray replaced his own cup and relaxed. "You were done with it, right? Don't drink that. It has some kind of gross aftertaste. But I don't want to throw it away in front of her, so…"

Natsu said something else, but Gray was distracted when Gajeel called to Juvia and she cut across the corner of his line of sight to talk to her friend. There was something about her that drove all the other thoughts from Gray's head. Something about the way her body curved and her hair swished behind her and her big blue eyes watched the world soulfully.

She glanced over and smiled at him, and he found himself flushing and looking away.

What the hell was wrong with him? He'd known Juvia was pretty—he wasn't _blind_ —but never had it hit him so strongly as it did now. Look at him, blushing like a schoolgirl over a girl he didn't even like because he'd suddenly noticed her body. Bloody hell. He'd never had this problem before, and so suddenly? He was definitely going crazy.

Shaking his head sharply to clear it, Gray turned back to his friends' conversation with grim determination, resolving to ignore this newest craziness until it went away. Still, he found his eyes following Juvia for the rest of the day, always stealing glances before he caught himself and looked away.

It was the beginning of the end.

* * *

It was going to drive Gray crazy, the way Juvia kept creeping into his thoughts. He didn't love her; there was no question about that. The most he could summon up on that front was a halfhearted sense of camaraderie, dampened by her obsessive behavior. He felt like they could be good friends if she would just chill out and accept his feelings the way they were without trying so hard to change them, but as it was… Well, they were guildmates, and that was enough for Gray.

Except that now he was watching her nearly as much as she was watching him, and it drove him up the wall. He didn't understand it. It made him hate himself a little, that he was becoming so obsessed with the looks of a girl he didn't even like. And he definitely wasn't going to touch weird feelings like that with Juvia, because the girl still thought she loved him and would assume that he loved her as well. That was a recipe for breaking her heart, and Gray wasn't going to go there. He might be an asshole, but he wasn't _that_ cruel.

But when she sidled up to him a few days later and offered him some kind of weird tea she wanted him to try, he accepted it. At her urging, he drank it all down even though he didn't particularly like most teas and this one was no different. A little herby and medicinal, definitely an acquired taste. Normally he would have found a semi-polite way to refuse, but it seemed harder to refuse her things these days.

Juvia took the empty cup from him and watched him expectantly, her eyes shining with a strange kind of hope. Gray opened his mouth to ask her if she wanted something else.

"Would you like to go out with me?" he said instead.

Juvia's face lit up and she threw her arms around him. "Juvia would love to go out with Gray-sama!"

Ecstatic. Not surprised. Not surprised, even though he'd always turned her down before. Well, _Gray_ was surprised. He was apparently more surprised than Juvia, which seemed a little backwards to him.

But then again, maybe it shouldn't be so surprising. He quite clearly loved her. He loved…he loved…everything, obviously. His mind was too hazy to come up with specifics, but she was perfect, wasn't she? He needed to love and protect her. The only surprise was that he hadn't realized he was in love sooner.

It was a sudden, earthshaking revelation.

He accepted the guild's teasing and catcalls good-naturedly, and shook off the puzzled, cautious overtures of the people who found the whole thing odd. What did they know, anyway? Ignoring his team's bewilderment, he stood and swept Juvia out of the guild hall. After all, there was no time to waste. It had taken much too long for him to realize that he loved her, and now he was eager to make up for lost time.

And, indeed, they wasted no time. Theirs was a whirlwind romance. Juvia had been waiting for this for much too long to want to go slowly, and Gray found that he couldn't stand not to be around her. When he wasn't near her, he couldn't focus. All he wanted was to be with her.

He thought it ironic that he had suddenly picked up the same zealous obsessiveness that he had so despaired of in Juvia. He had thought it was just a sign of her not understanding what love was, an unhealthy manifestation of a lustful obsession. He had thought it couldn't possibly be healthy to be so wrapped up in one person to the exclusion of everything else, but maybe that was just what love was, because now he was as wrapped up in her as she was in him.

They did everything together, everything from frequent dates to jobs. To the point where people started commenting, his team most of all. They had, after a brief period of wary confusion, offered their congratulations and seemed happy for the newest couple, but cracks quickly began creeping into the team dynamics.

"What do you mean, you're going out with Juvia?" Erza would ask. "You knew we were supposed to do a job today."

"You never want to hang out with us anymore," Happy would add. "You're always with Juvia."

Natsu, of course, would have to contribute something along the lines of, "You're too _'busy'_ with Juvia to even fight me anymore. You'd better get your act together before I pound your face in."

And then there was always Lucy. "It's great that you're so happy, but you can't just ignore all your other friends, you know. You never want to do anything with us anymore, and we miss you."

Well, all Gray needed was Juvia, anyway. If they were just going to gripe and complain, then it freed up more time for her. Gray didn't spend a lot of time with his team anymore. They drifted apart.

He went on jobs with Juvia instead. When Juvia mentioned how Gajeel and Levy had moved in together, Gray took the cue and invited her to stay at his place. She squealed in delight and moved all of her things into his apartment immediately.

They settled into a new pattern, a new lifestyle that revolved around them and only them. Gray would do anything to make Juvia happy, and threw himself into being the best boyfriend he could be. And Juvia had always been caring and doting to start with, and that only intensified.

She had even taken up cooking all their meals. She wasn't exactly a great cook, but she said she wanted to learn so that she could be a better girlfriend—and, it was implied, future wife—so Gray let her be and was her willing guinea pig.

It wasn't long before he realized that many of the drinks she brought him and some of the meals she cooked had an unpleasant herby aftertaste. Gray checked the water and looked over the food in the fridge, but his search turned up nothing that might be creating the odd taste. When he finally asked Juvia about it, she explained that it was probably from some kind of herbal vitamin supplement concoction she added to their meals. Who would've known she was a bit of a health nut?

Gray could appreciate the sentiment, but he had little interest in such things and had little desire to have everything he ate or drank be tainted with a bitter edge. He didn't want to offend Juvia, but that aftertaste was going to drive him crazy. He began secretly dumping out the drinks she gave him and replacing them with untainted ones.

Other than the slight issues with the food and the team, everything was pretty much perfect. Things began settling down a bit, and Gray began losing that crazy, obsessive edge. He still wanted to be around Juvia all the time, but he felt like his head was clearer and he could focus on things other than her. He figured this was probably normal. That kind of single-minded obsession might be an early stage of falling in love, but it couldn't last forever. Eventually things would have to start balancing out.

Gray still spent most of his time with Juvia, but he began slowly hashing some things out with his team. They were still irritated with him for ditching them when he'd started going out with Juvia, but they responded well to his conciliatory olive branches. He even went on a couple jobs with them and talked with them occasionally.

All in all, life was good.

And then Gray woke up one night in a cold sweat, wondering what the fuck was happening to him.

He narrowed his eyes against the darkness and stared at Juvia beside him. Her face was pale in the faint moonlight, her eyes closed, her hair fanned out across the pillow in the messiness of sleep. Why was he in bed with someone he didn't love, didn't even particularly like half the time?

Something was definitely wrong here. The past month or so seemed rather hazy, but things that had previously seemed natural and right suddenly seemed horribly wrong. There was still some strange part of himself he hardly recognized that ached to love and protect the girl next to him, but he knew—he _knew_ —he didn't love her. So why…?

It hit him like a ton of bricks, the pieces clicking into place all at once. That nasty-tasting water she had given him. Immediately after, he had started noticing her, thinking about her. The strange tea. Immediately after, he had suddenly realized he was in 'love' and asked her out. The 'vitamin supplements' in the food and drinks that gave everything a bitter edge. Gradually after, the edge had begun waning off his obsession.

She had _drugged_ him. Oh, he should have known better than to accept anything from her after she'd tried using a love potion on him last time and ended up setting half the guild off to fight the most ridiculous 'rivals'.

She had been looking at him so expectantly after that first glass of water because she was expecting the potion to make him fall in love. But he had only taken a couple sips and dumped the rest—enough to make him notice her but not enough to simulate any kind of love. He had, unlucky fool, drunk the entire cup of tea, and that had finally done the trick. And she had continually dosed his food and drink afterwards. The reason things were settling down and he was now coming to his senses was that he had begun avoiding the things she had drugged.

"Gray-sama?" Juvia's eyes fluttered open and she blinked at him blearily. "Is Gray-sama alright?"

 _No! You're drugging me!_

"Yes," his mouth said. "Everything's fine. Go back to sleep, Juvia. I love you."

Gray clamped his mouth shut, horrified. Juvia smiled drowsily and rolled over to snuggle up against his chest. He wanted to push her away, but instead draped an arm around her like he couldn't help himself. He stared at her with wide eyes until she drifted back into sleep.

He knew the truth now, so why couldn't he…? The potion clearly hadn't worn off yet, not entirely. His mind might know the truth, but his body was bound to obey.

What could he possibly do now? Wait and hope it wore off? Tell someone? Look for an antidote? What?

He stayed awake all night long, not daring to fall asleep in case he lost his clarity in his dreams and woke up in love.

The next morning, he attempted to extricate himself from Juvia's clutches so that he could find a potion shop and ask around for a cure. This was easier said than done. As soon as Juvia expressed disappointment and suggested he stay with her, it was like he had no choice but to obey. Oh, she had trussed him up with string and was playing him like a puppet.

It made him realize, suddenly, exactly how much control she had. If she suggested he stay, he stayed. If she suggested they go on a date, they went on a date. Even back when she had hinted they might move in together, just from bringing up Gajeel and Levy's cohabitation and giving him that hopeful look, he had obeyed.

He was a slave in his own body.

He needed a new plan. Something to get him out of Juvia's grasp for an hour or two, just enough to find someone who might be able to help. He needed a way to convince her to let him go.

"Hey, I need to talk to Natsu for a bit," Gray said the morning after his latest failed attempt at escape.

"Juvia will come with Gray-sama!" Juvia said brightly.

"No, no, that's fine."

Juvia pouted, and he could sense that coming request— _command_ —to stay. "Why does Gray-sama–?"

"Shh, it's a secret," he whispered hurriedly, giving her a wink. It was hard to lie to her, but he could bend the truth with the best of them. "I'm working on a surprise, and I need his help."

"A surprise for Juvia?" she asked, brightening considerably.

He smiled. "Maaaybe…"

"Go ahead! Juvia will wait."

Gray took his chance to escape and made a beeline for where his team—his old team now, he thought morosely—was sitting at their usual table. "Natsu. Come with me for a second."

"Huh?" Natsu looked up in surprise and frowned. Gray didn't approach them very often anymore, which suddenly hurt a lot because he missed them. Suspicion settled over Natsu's features. He had already made it clear that he was still irritated with Gray's behavior and abandonment of the team. "What for?"

"Just… Please."

Natsu froze, then stood. "Yeah, yeah, alright."

"Are you okay, Gray?" Lucy asked.

He forced a smile for the rest of the team. "Yeah, fine."

He hurried out of the guild hall as fast as his feet could carry him, eager to get out of Juvia's sight. He very rarely got to escape her these days, even for a moment.

"What's up, ice block?" Natsu asked as Gray stopped outside the guild and looked around uneasily.

"It's Juvia. She–"

 _She drugged me with a love potion._

Gray's mouth worked soundlessly. The words wouldn't come out. He wanted to cry. He couldn't even _tell_ anyone?

Natsu's puzzled irritation melted into something like alarm. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Of course." A twisted smile pulled at Gray's features like a mask, the invisible strings tugging the corners of his lips upward into a hollow facsimile of a smile. Natsu flinched. "I've never been happier."

"You don't look so great. Is this about Juvia? What were you going to say about her?"

"She–she– I love her." Gray's mouth stretched out into something even less like a real smile. "I have to."

"You… _have to_? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Gray asked hollowly. "She's perfect. We don't always get a choice of who we fall in love with."

Natsu eyed him uneasily, turning the words over in his mind and trying to figure out what was so wrong with them. Gray could see it. Maybe… Maybe Natsu could figure it out, even if Gray couldn't come out and say it. Or maybe not. Natsu was notoriously oblivious.

"Okay, Gray, seriously. What's up with you?"

"I told Juvia I was going to talk to you about a surprise or something." Gray turned his head stiffly and looked down the street. "I need to go… Can you just wait out here for a little while until I get back? I want her to think we're talking."

"Wait, why? Where are you going?"

"Just… Please."

Worry crept into Natsu's eyes. "That's the second time you've said 'please' in the last five minutes. Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Gray's mouth said as he started down the street. "Everything's perfect."

He left Natsu behind, hoping the dragon slayer would cooperate and be his alibi. There was a potion shop not too far away, and Gray made a run for it. He didn't know how long he had before Juvia crooked her finger and called him back.

The shop was small, with wooden shelves lined neatly with labeled bottles of all shapes and sizes. It was empty of customers, but Gray's eyes locked on the brown-haired woman behind the counter.

"Good morning," she said, looking up as he approached. "Can I help you?"

He would need to be careful here, watch what he said. He'd already discovered that he couldn't come out and say what had happened, so he needed an indirect way to go about things. He didn't know how much he could say, and it was a blurry line to walk between the truth and the potion's version of it.

"Do you sell love potions here?" he asked conversationally.

A guarded look fell over the shopkeeper's face, and she eyed him with thinly-veiled distaste. "No. I find them to be rather unethical, myself. There are a few shops that carry them, although most trade is done in the black market to circumvent regulations. You'll have to look elsewhere for your potion."

"I don't want to buy one," Gray said with a slight shake of his head. "Do you have antidotes to love potions, by any chance?"

Some of her disgust melted into puzzled curiosity. "I know a little about mixing them, but it depends on what kind of potion it was. I'd need to know more about it."

"Well… Let's say that, _theoretically_ speaking, someone took only a few sips of a drink spiked with a love potion, just enough to make him notice someone and think about her a lot even though he doesn't like her. Then, later, he drinks something else that has been drugged and it's an instant obsession, like he's always been in love with her and he can't think about anything else. And then he realizes there's a bitter aftertaste to the food and drinks he's been consuming, so he starts avoiding what's offered to him and gradually comes to his senses. But even though he knows he doesn't love her, his body is still trapped into acting like he does."

"That sounds like a serious one," the girl said, her eyebrows knitting together in a frown.

"If he's not being dosed anymore, how long do you think the effects would last before wearing off?"

"It depends. Something that strong, taken over an extended period of time, might have permanent effects. Or the effects might diminish over time but never quite vanish."

Gray's heart sank. "Permanent?"

"Maybe. I could try mixing an antidote that might help, though. Would you like some?"

 _Yes!_

"No," he said, every fiber of his being rebelling against the idea. He was already turning away with jerky movements, the invisible strings attached to his limbs forcing him out of the store. "That's alright. Thanks for your help. Have a nice day."

"Wait, but–"

Gray wanted to weep with frustration and hopeless despair as he was pulled back to the guild and Juvia's clutches. A possible solution was right in front of him, and he couldn't even take it.

He'd been able to talk about love potions, but not to say that he himself was drugged with one. He couldn't take an antidote that would reverse the effects. Maybe, then, the limitations were that the potion prevented him from doing or saying anything that contradicted or threatened his being in love with Juvia.

Natsu was still lurking outside the guild hall, pacing back and forth with a deep frown carved into his features.

"Thanks for covering for me," Gray said, the words ashes in his mouth.

Natsu started in surprise and then twitched, his eyes widening. "Whoa, okay, are you sure you're alright? You look horrible."

The strings pulled at Gray's lips. "Of course," he said with that dead smile. "I've never been happier."

The strings tugged at his feet, pulling him back inside as Juvia reeled him in. He couldn't escape her gravitational field. A marionette played for her pleasure.

Juvia turned with a smile, her eyes lighting up as she saw him. He wanted to sympathize with her and make excuses for her, say that unrequited love could do horrible things to people, but right now it was all he could do not to hate her.

Did she even realize what she had done, or did she think this was real? She didn't have the look of a puppet master in her eyes. She looked like a happy girl in love. Maybe he should be glad that she was happy, but he resented her something terrible.

"Is Gray-sama ready to go out with Juvia for lunch?"

 _No_.

"Yes."

Gray offered her his arm in a jerky motion and walked with her out of the hall, past Natsu's concerned gaze and the puzzled looks of his other former teammates.

After that point, he was very careful to avoid eating or drinking anything Juvia gave him. The next morning, he ransacked his apartment while Juvia still slept and found a half-empty bottle wedged under a loose floorboard that he could only assume had been pried up for that purpose. He wanted to dump out its contents and replace them with something harmless so that Juvia wouldn't notice the deception, but his hands trembled and he found that he couldn't do anything but replace it where he'd found it. He couldn't deliberately sabotage being in 'love' with Juvia.

Instead, he avoided eating and drinking unless he'd prepared it himself. He got twinges of discomfort sometimes, but they were easier to bear if he justified it as trying to avoid the gross aftertaste rather than trying to fall out of love. He got good at pretending to eat and secretly switching out his portions while Juvia wasn't looking. This was made more difficult when he lost a significant amount of weight and Juvia began fussing over him, but he managed.

Unfortunately, even this didn't erase the effects. The word _'permanent'_ played on a loop in his head, as much as he tried to push it out. He was trapped, the invisible strings yanking him back and forth until he broke, and he was losing hope.

The only weak flicker of hope left was that his old team had finally realized that something was wrong. Spurred, he suspected, by Natsu's tale of what had transpired that day. They kept shooting him worried looks and holding whispered conversations, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. It was dangerous to hope, but he desperately wanted them to solve the puzzle and find the way out that he was incapable of grasping on his own.

They even approached him once or twice, pulling him aside to question him. Their resentment of him for ditching the team was eclipsed by this new concern that there was something seriously wrong.

"Please, Gray, tell us what's wrong," Lucy pleaded.

"Nothing's wrong."

"You aren't happy," Happy said. "You look miserable."

Then they were better at spotting it than Juvia was. For all she watched him, she never really _saw_. She didn't see the way he now moved in jerky motions like he was being pulled along against his will. She didn't see that the twisted, broken smiles weren't genuine. She didn't see the hollow, dead look in his eyes.

He had come to the conclusion that she had no idea of what was happening. She thought he was in _love_ , no matter how it had come to be. Oblivious and self-absorbed to the very last, just one more fantasy. Except that she had dragged him into her fantasy this time, and it was ripping him apart at the seams.

The strings tugged Gray's lips into an unhappy smile. "Of course I'm happy. Juvia makes me happy."

"Is this about Juvia?" Erza asked carefully.

"Juvia is perfect." A rote response, springing to his tongue automatically and tasting like ash. "I love her."

"Do you really?" asked Natsu.

"I love her."

"But–"

"I love her."

"Gray-sama!" Juvia called from the other side of the hall. Everyone started and exchanged almost guilty looks.

"It looks like I have to go," Gray said, turning away even though he tried to lock his muscles and stay in place.

"But–"

"When she calls, I have to go." He threw his friends one last, mournful look. "Sorry. I miss being with you guys. I wish I could still stay with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lucy asked.

But he was already walking away like a prisoner to his execution, his focus firmly on Juvia's smiling face. She seemed so happy. Did she really think this was real, this sham of a love?

"Do you think that…?" Erza was whispering, but Gray moved too far out of earshot and missed the ending. Maybe they had finally put the pieces together. Maybe it was already too late.

"Has Gray-sama heard?" Juvia asked excitedly.

"Heard what?"

"Gajeel-kun and Levy-san are getting married!"

 _No, no, no._

"That's nice."

"It's so exciting, isn't it? This is the perfect time for weddings! It seems like so much fun…"

She was watching him with those big, hopeful eyes. He could feel the strings curling about him and tightening, as heavy and binding as shackles.

 _You are a horrible person and you disgust me._

"You are the most beautiful and loving woman in the world."

 _You are the worst thing to ever happen to me._

"You make me the luckiest man alive."

 _Go away. I never want to see you again._

"I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me?"

 _I hate you._

"I love you."

* * *

Gray was a dead man walking, but he had resolved to savor his last days of freedom. Relative freedom. He was still a slave, chained to Juvia's will and played like a marionette, but at least he wasn't married to her yet. Even the thought made him shudder. He was going to marry the person he hated most in the world and spend the rest of his life with her as a prisoner in his own body. It sounded horrible. He would almost rather die. It wasn't like he had much of a life left anyway.

He hated the world for turning on like normal, as if everything was okay. He hated himself for being ensnared and too weak to break free. Most of all, he hated _her_ for doing this to him.

Gray stalked along by Juvia's side, his gaze roving over the trees and searching the shadows as she chattered cheerfully beside him. This was their last job before their marriage, something Juvia had insisted on. And here she was, chattering away like a magpie about wedding details instead of paying attention.

It was a simple enough job, just catching a bandit who had robbed some dandy and escaped to the forest. The guy didn't even have magic. All the jobs he went on with Juvia seemed so easy and _lame_. Had she really been an S-class wizard in Phantom Lord? What a joke.

Gray missed going out with his team, taking challenging jobs and doing them together. He missed the bickering and fighting and laughing. He missed that feeling of friendship and belonging. He got none of that with Juvia.

Thinking about his old team hurt too much. He missed them. They missed him too, but it was too late for that. They had already lost each other. They were still looking for a way to save him, he could tell, but it was too late.

"Juvia is so glad that Meredy-san will make it down to be her maid of honor," Juvia was babbling cheerily.

"How nice."

He was already too broken to be saved. Instead, he was going to get _married_.

Something moved in the shadows and a loud bang exploded in the air, and Gray's head whipped around. "Look out!"

That burning need to _love, protect_ tugged him forward, and he stepped in front of Juvia. He was already molding lances, and the ice cut off their assailant's startled cry.

It was some kind of gun, Gray realized, his thoughts muffled as if in a daze. There was some kind of magic pulse coming straight at them. At him.

The moment seemed to stretch out in slow motion. He lifted his hands, preparing to make a shield, but hesitated. He had an obligation to protect Juvia, but no such driving need to protect himself. And maybe… Maybe he would rather die than live as a puppet.

He dropped his hands.

Searing pain tore through Gray's chest and he collapsed to the ground, his eyes wide.

A piercing scream shattered the air like glass. He blinked up blearily at Juvia's horrified face as she knelt by him, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Gray-sama! Hold on! Juvia will–will–"

Small hands were prodding at him, maybe trying to stop the blood from flowing out, but Gray just wished that they'd go away. That _she'd_ go away.

 _Let me be,_ he wanted to say. _Haven't you done enough? Let me die in peace._

What a pathetic way to die, though, he reflected as he stared up at Juvia glassily and felt his fading breaths rattle painfully in his chest. Everyone was going to think he was actually stupid and weak enough to get caught out by such a feeble attack, even though he'd survived so much worse. But he supposed that he wouldn't care so much about pride once he was dead, so let them think what they wanted.

"Gray-sama! No, no, no…"

His one regret would be breaking everyone's hearts. He didn't want them to be sad, and they'd be devastated even though they'd drifted apart. That would be his one regret.

But if it was the price he had to pay to finally be free… He was sorry, but he didn't see any way around it. He couldn't stand being a puppet anymore, couldn't imagine wanting to live while he was a broken, hollow shell of his former self.

"Gray-sama, stay awake! Please…"

His eyes fluttered open—when had he closed them?—and he stared up at Juvia again, wishing she wasn't the last thing he'd see. He had tried to excuse her behavior at first, but the truth was that he hated her now, for what she'd done to him. He wasn't sorry that she'd be devastated. He was glad of it.

Actually…

His gaze sharpened for the briefest of seconds as he pulled himself back from the brink for one moment more. He would break her the same way she had broken him, if it was the last thing he did. One last rebellion.

He pulled in one final, rattling breath. The words were difficult, so difficult, to force out, but he needed this. For one last moment, that twilit space hovering between life and death, he would wrest control away from her. Those words were hard to force out, but the look on her face was worth it.

Her eyes widened, her lips parted in a horrified 'o', the tears flowed even as she froze. And in her eyes, something shattered as she broke.

Gray's lips curled into the faintest of smiles, and then he let his eyes drift shut for the final time and let go.

 _"I…never…loved…you."_

* * *

 **Note: Yeah, idk. At one point I was musing on variations of the love potion trope and this happened. Although, to be honest, it's a pretty brutally realistic view of what a love potion would actually be like. Totally unethical slavery and robbery of free will, basically. I pretty much lose respect for any character who tries it, especially when they don't realize it's wrong or do anything to fix it. And it's totally something Juvia would do, and she'd probably be way too oblivious and self-centered to realize the problem, just like always. So yeah, not a lot of sympathy here lol But hey, this is pretty much a metaphor for Gruvia XD**

 **emmahoshi: LOL yeah, welcome to the internet XD Yeah, this one leaned a little dark lol It was actually my first foray into love potions for FT, and the first time I write something tends to go really dark until I tone it back on the next try XD Also, it was just interesting to think about a potion ensnaring the body even after the mind was free, because usually they just twist the person's mind and emotions. But yeah, that's basically Gruvia for you lol [EDIT: Yeah, she does get pretty insightful when she reviews. I'm not planning on writing a sequel right now, both because I'm currently into Noragami instead and because I like to leave dark standalones on their own, but it's something I'll think about. Sometimes I do write continuations long after the fact, so maybe someday :3]**


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